Empowering Parent Now - "CHOICES” THE PARENT-CHILD CONNECTION WAY

“CHOICES” THE PARENT-CHILD CONNECTION WAY

Giving choices is the most powerful way of building personal power in children. Power is the ability to influence some aspects of your life by choice. Saying “no” to you is the way a child exerts their power. As a parent, you can help your child utilize this sense of power in a positive way - give them choices to make decisions for their lives. Children will feel more powerful and use their power in a positive way because choices:

1. Let children know they have power
2. Are a good way to defuse potential power struggles
3. Help children take responsibility for their own behavior
4. Provide a good way for children to use their power
5. Help children learn to manage their own behavior

For example:

Play time – “Do you want to ride your bike or play in the sand pile?”
Bath time – “Ann, do you want to take a bath first or play first?”
Eating– “Ken, would you like to drink your milk in the red cup or the blue cup”
Dressing – “Larry, which shirt would you like to wear, this one or this one?

Providing choices to your child is an excellent technique to help your children manage their own behavior. When using choices, consequences come into the picture. So, first state the options children have and then the consequences if this is not met.

“Joan, I really expect you to quietly eat your dinner without acting silly. If you continue to act silly, you will have to leave the table. It is your choice!”

Remember, a parent should never use threats as choices, as you will find out that you don’t carry them through. Never give ultimatums as choices, “I’ll never talk to you again.” Ultimatums are rarely carried out and soon your children believe you are full of hot air! Remember, in your personal life you should adhere to the character traits that your children will admire, learn from and respect.

Set the standard and watch your child follow. Show your child the way, but let him choose his own path. Give him the tools to succeed – a compass that will bring each of you a healthy and joyful parenting relationship.

For more information regarding choices your child will benefit from, please call The Parent-Child Connection Coach at 310-458-2079 or email me at linda@empoweringparentsnow.com.